Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:36:25 GMT

GOODBYE LIVEJOURNAL!

The time has come to say goodbye to livejournal and all it entails. I wish the best of luck to everyone and thanks for reading my journal and being so great all this while.

N E W Y O R K 0 7

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 00:39:22 GMT

I am in a bad mood. I found my spiritual home and I just left it.

N.B: Under the cut is a garbled account of my transatlantic adventures in the Big Apple. It will more than likely be filled with silliness and excitement (mixed with some sadness and annoyance) and will reference a lot of people, very few of whom you will know. But this is mostly for me to be able to remember everything that happened, so ignore those bits and go "oooh Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Superman, Greenwich Village etc" if you please. This is likely to be incredibly long and filled with little details, purely because I don't want to forget anything. :-)

Kelly came over on Saturday night to keep me awake and we watched 'Closer' at 3am. At the end, there's that bit with Natalie Portman walking around Times Square and it's got the big shot of Roxy Delicatessen and we had to pause it and squeal at the screen a bit.
We got to Heathrow at 5:45am and Mr Teeling's group (The T-Birds) had our first group huddle. It was adorable. Teeling went; "I love you all very much and we're going to have a great time. You can all go to duty-free, but don't stray too far because I'll worry and you’re my babies. Right. Love you guys! :-D" He is completely lovely.
I slept all the way there on the plane. It was punctuated with cries of "OMG that's Miami down there! Ok, no, it's not."

My customs officer was so sweet. Such an Italian-American Soprano type who said "You been to Disney? You see that rat, Mickey? He just a rat. Now listen, if trouble comes your way...you go the other way, ok?" I<3HIM.

It had snowed when we got there, there was slush everywhere. But Queens looked so beautiful, all those little houses tipped with white. :-D
We had the coach tour with this crazy little Jewish lady called Ann Hernandez who pointed out the globe that Will Smith wrestles with an alien on in 'Men In Black', where Godzilla stomped through the city and where parts of 'You've Got Mail' and 'Maid in Manhattan' were filmed. We went up Madison Avenue, 42nd Street, Fifth Avenue, Broadway and past Tiffany's, Bloomingdales, Macy's, the huge Apple iPod store, the Justice Buildings, NYC library, Rockafeller Plaza, the Empire State Building as well as about five huge open cemeteries on the outskirts of Queens (v scary).

We got to our hotel and me and Shirin perved over the concierge, who we quickly went off when we saw him from afar (he looked better close-up) and went to our rooms. I was far too excited to have an NY experience and dragged Rosie, Zoe and Shirin across the road to the huge Deli (an undercover market called Fairway). We felt soooo touristy so we bought hot chocolates from Starbucks and went back. Shirin spotted a beautiful Persian man and he smiled at her. She was immediately gone and spent the next three days turning to me and whispering "Oh, where is my lovely Persian man? I love him." We did all fall in love about 4 times each.
Mine were; a really hot, bespectacled Jew in the diner who was fighting with his girlfriend (what a twat she must be), a man with insane curly hair and a massive grin in Bloomingdales, a geek coming out of the library and finally, and most importantly, Marius. Ohhhh, Marius (more about him later, and be warned now, I am in love).

Anyway, after dinner we flopped into bed only to get up at 6:45am the next day (which I did every day). Monday, omg I have never been so cold in my entire life. -15 degrees. Wind that cuts your skin open (I have cuts on my hands from before I out my gloves on and my cheeks were grazed). It seeps through to your bones. It was arctic.
We went straight off to Drama Workshop 1 at New Dance Group (a dance and drama school) on West 38th Street. The teacher was a very patronising woman called Erin who claimed that we were getting the most Advanced workshop they offered which was mostly about breathing properly and being limber. It was fairly crap. I was upset because I felt the reason we had come was for the workshops (though most people came for the shopping and the sights). I was really hoping for it to be informative and inspiring (don’t worry, Marius to the rescue later on that one) but it wasn’t. 
After she had wasted an hour of our precious time telling us to “jump like we were on the biggest trampoline in the world” and “walk like a beaten man”, we had a talk from LaTrisa, a musical actress who swings between the parts of Squeak and Netty in ‘The Colour Purple’ on Broadway (which we were going to see the following night). She told us how she had got her Broadway break really quickly after graduating and had been in ‘The Lion King’ before now. She also said that Oprah Winfrey was a lovely person (she co-produced the musical).

After that we went to Times Square which is huge and amazing. So many billboards and lights everywhere. It does look like all the pictures of New York that you see with huge long streets, yellow cabs and big shops. It’s very commercial but absolutely incredible.
I got dragged to make-up shops for an hour but we made our way back to the Subway (which is awful and dirty and cramped and scary – the Tube is like the coach to Heaven in comparison). Every time we went anywhere on the street in big groups, we stayed with our leaders so there were many moments with Mr Teeling grinning wildy at us and repeatedly counting us. His smile is so cute (but not as cute as Marius’, no one’s is to be fair).

We caught the Staten Island Ferry to the Statue of Liberty (which is tiny! She’s so wee and so green!) which was totally freezing and I only had enough time to take a really quick picture on the deck before running inside. Sophie perved over some Swedish men and got me to ask them for a picture *eyeroll*. We were so very, very touristy.
Back to Times Square afterwards for shopping! Bloomingdales was massively expensive so we didn’t buy owt and just walked around doing fake American accents and calling each other ‘darrrling’. Then hot-footed it to Urban Outfitters, where I bought my lovely coral and orange bag for $48 ($52 with fucking tax, grrr, evil American Economy) and me and Eliza went to Dylan’s Candy Bar (the most famous sweet shop in the world!) to get chocolate. Soooo nice and cheap. We got tea and hot chocolate for free because the guy forgot to charge us. ;-)

Every shop we went in was playing ‘New York, New York’, so it was in my head the whole time.
Lu found a shop near Times Square that was selling “I ♥ NY” t-shirts at 3 for $10 and she offered to take everyone’s t-shirt orders and get them all in a bunch. The vendor loved her so much when she asked him for 50 t-shirts that he gave her a deal of 50 tees for $50. How cool is that? New Yorkers are so friendly. Everyone we spoke to asked us how we liked the city and told us to have a great time. None of the stand-offishness that I’d heard about.
Then back on the subway and off to the Hard Rock Café. Through the gift shop and down the stairs are THE ORIGINAL GREY BEATLES SUITS THAT DON’T HAVE COLLARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My jaw-dropped and I screamed “OH MY GOD!!” Thus I ended up being in almost all of the pictures. Me and Shirin spazzed for ages and pawed the glass in front of John’s suit.
When we got inside the café itself, we saw Elvis Presley’s suit in another case, Led Zeppelin’s in another and countless rock legends’ guitars and autographs. Holly (who also loved John Lennon) almost hyperventilated and got winked at by practically every waiter. I swear everyone that meets that girl just falls in love with her.

On Tuesday morning at the meeting, Teeling said “I’m a bit of a music geek and if anyone wants to come with me to the Dakota Building where John Lennon was shot and then to the Imagine Memorial and Strawberry Fields in Central Park, you’re more than welcome.”
OMG!!! I HAD TO GO!!! I didn’t even think we’d get the chance! <3 Teeling Forever! I got quite teary at the Dakota Building. But Strawberry Fields was so beautiful all covered in snow. I kept having to repeat the circumstances of his death over and over to everyone.
We went on to Rockefeller Plaza and everyone ice-skated. Everyone except me, Shirin and Bethany (we suck at skating) so we just took pictures of everyone and then sneaked off for Starbucks (I ♥ their hot chocolate).
After that we went to Greenwich Village and all split up to buy stuff. When we came out of Christopher Street subway, about 5 people went “OMG it’s the ‘Friends’ building!” We all saw about 15 apartment blocks that looked identical to Monica’s. None of them were but you could see why we thought so.

Rosie and Steph dragged me into a million jewellery stores so I ended up buying a silver cuff and Romeo and Juliet-type ring. Then we stumbled into some exclusive little boutiques on Bleecker Street and I found a LAMB tee for $29 (about £20) so I bought it. :-D
We also found about 3 sex shops on every street we went to. I think I have a knack for finding sex shops….me FTW! Also caught Teeling smoking outside a café and reprimanded him. I doubt it worked in any way.
We went back to the hotel to watch some American tv (really hilarious soaps and constant news coverage on the state of Britney’s head) and freshen up for the theatre.
We caught the subway to Broadway and went to see ‘The Colour Purple’. I am not a musicals person (that’s an understatement, I actually despise them all) but it was really good. The sheer professionalism of all the performers (their gospel singing was beautiful) and the incredible set which had a rotating circle in the middle which created set changes in the blink of an eye was astounding. Mr Teeling despised it and spent the whole show texting and looking bored. Bless his Northern-Man’s heart.

Best bits: Harpo carrying Squeak off who has just been beaten by Sophia: “Don’t worry baby, she beat me too!”
Gossipy ladies spot pregnant Sophia and in the middle of the song watch her walk past *head-swivel*: “Who the daddy, who the daddy, who the daddy?”
Albert: How do you know Harpo’s the daddy?
Sophia: *is livid* I knooooooow, ‘cos he da onllllyyyyyy ONNNNNNEEEE!
Harpo: *restrains Sophia*

The next day was our last, but I woke up feeling sort of ready to say goodbye, incredibly sick of all the bitchiness between the other students, really cold and extremely tired. We all trundled off to Workshop 2 at New Dance Group but got bored on the way (it was quite a walk, despite being on the Upper West Side near our hotel) so I started singing ‘Amazing Grace’ really loudly. Everyone eventually joined in and we looked a bit like a bizarre, travelling English choir. I caught the eye of an African-American pretzel vendor who said “Yo white girl, how you doin’?” I was so happy!! The cliché of being called ‘white girl’ is alive and well!!! :-D!
Once we arrived, everyone got off their coats and started to limber up, feeling tired and, after the first workshop of shittiness, just wanting to get it over with. A guy dressed all in black with bleached blonde hair and earrings walked in. He looked like someone out of the Sopranos, only young and hot. I heard whispers of “Oh shit, now I’m scared”, “He’s going to beat us up”, “Do you think he’s gay?”, “Omg, I bet he has a knife” and other crap like that. I was just mesmerised by him.

A smiley, tanned lady came in, looking chic in jeans and a low cut black top and said “Hi, I’m Maggie”. The guy had taken off his jacket and was wearing a black t-shirt, with sleeves just short enough to reveal part of a tattoo on his right bicep. OMFG I LOVE HIM.
He said “I’m Marius, like when you go to a priest and say ‘will you marry us?’”
I thought “Let’s go find one right now, what’re we waiting for?”
He had this fantastic New York voice, very sharp, inherently comic and slightly twangy. I was just gone. He was the epitome of a certain type that I have loooong worshipped.
Maggie: So the basic concept of stage combat, is fighting in a theatrical setting.
Marius: My job is to create the illusion of violence.
Me: *waves goodbye to all former crushes, having discovered the ultimate and has now reached the status of complete and utter twat-dom*
Anyway, we did a warm-up in front of the mirror, during which I just stared at Marius’ reflection and contemplated how much it would cost for me to move to Brooklyn by myself to live with him.
We split up into pairs, me with Kelly, to choreograph a short fight sequence. They showed up the first bit, bumping into someone’s shoulder without touching them and then we went off to practise.
Eventually it turned into a bump, two shoves, a slap, a punch and then throttling. :-D It was great!
Kelly and I were slavish, repeating it many times over and drew a wee crowd. They clapped us and then Marius came over to watch. My heart just dropped. How fucking scary. We performed it with a bit of dialogue (“What ya doin’?”, “Don’t touch me!” “Bring it, bitch!”) and Marius put his hand on my shoulder and said “That’s perfect”. It may well have been the moment of my life.
He did haul me up on stepping forward to punch Kelly (“We do not do that, it’s way to dangerous”) but I didn’t even care. I was buzzing.
He and Maggie performed the routine to everyone (adding their own dialogue of "Excuse me, no touching, sweetie!", "Whassup suckah!?" << that was Marius and "Oh honestly!" << that was Maggie in a very English accent), who all gasped at the slaps and punches (they looked so incredibly real!) and then explained some stuff.
He also said "You want to keep a safe distance between you and your partner, because you get caught up in the moment when you're acting like really, really hard and you don't wanna claw her. You do that and I'm going to hell in a handbasket for not teaching you properly." LOL!

Marius: I work mainly as a fight director for the New York City Opera and choreograph fights for plays and musicals. They call us in if they need to train their actors with sword-fights, bar-brawls, whatever.
Maggie: I’m primarily an actor, but sort of fell into stage combat through my training and now I’m a fight director as well.
Marius: We’re in a show together at the moment and I play the bad guy, hence the bleached-blonde hair. *goes a bit bashful* It’s normally black.
Me: OMFG I LOVE YOU
Marius: The hardest thing to do is small-sword work because it’s all about the tip of the sword. I really like doing dagger-work and using guns. On stage, of course, not…in real life.
Me: *faints*

Once we left the studio I was on a complete high and really didn’t want to leave. We walked up to Times Square and the lights and everything was just so beautiful, the last thing I wanted to do was get on a plane that night and return to England. I kept going over the fight sequence in my head, determined not to forget any of it.
We went to The Olive Garden for lunch. Mrs O’Mahoney paid for everyone (which would have come to about $800. How nice is that?
Anyway, Lu and I (being the Queens on NY) sat at either end of the huge tables and issued commands (all of which were ignored).
Our waiter was SUPERMAN!! There’s a new off-Broadway musical of ‘Superman’ and our waiter was the guy playing him!! His name is Rob Ventre, he gave me his agent’s card which had the most gorgeous picture and I went “Uhhh, thank you!” and everyone cracked up. (How quickly I got over Marius, shame on me…!)
Bethany asked for a picture with him and he swept her up into his arms in the Superman pose! It was so cool! It is true about all New York waiters/waitresses being actors. In the window of the diner next to the hotel were all the waiters’ headshots with their agents’ number underneath. The myth is true.

After that I really didn’t want to leave but we had to rush off to the Empire State Building.
On the way there, I got sidetracked by a guy selling his CDs.
Guy: Hey girl, hi-five!
Me: *hi-fives*
Guy’s friend: Don’t leave me out!
Mme: *hi-fives again*
Guy: Girl, I know you feelin’ black culture. I know you down with black culture. You got the vibes, you know what I’m saying?
Me: Yes I do.
Guy: Dis my CD. I want you to hear it and appreciate my message.
Miss Finch: I’m sorry, we’re on a schedule, she doesn’t have time for this.
Guy: You don’t wanna let her listen to black music?! Lady, you suck!
Me: LMAO!

Empire State was amazing. The views were just incredible, you could see the Bronx in the distance, Queens and Brooklyn on one side and Staten Island down South. I spent most of the time holding Lu’s hand as she tried to conquer her vertigo. There were some tears…:-/
Atfer that, Hannah and I sprinted up Fifth Avenue for some really quick H&M time (it was like a trolley-dash) in an attempt to spend the last of our dollars. I got hoodies and tops and stuff but spent most of the time talking to people.
Hannah: Quick, we’ve got 10 minutes!
Me: Which hoodie?!
Random woman: OMG, I love your accent! Say something, say anything!
Hannah: :-D
Me: It’s good, innit?
We sprinted back up Fifth Avenue, back to the Empire State Building, to get a horribly cramped ride back on the subway were we did final packing and boarded the coach.
It was dark by this time and we drove through the city, over the Brooklyn Bridge, through Queens to JFK. It was really sad. The lights just faded behind us and we all started singing ‘Wonderwall’ for comfort. It was too much for some and soon enough people were crying. I just wanted to see Marius again (LOL).

We bought trashy magazines and McDonalds at the airport to cheer ourselves up and Kelly (who was once anorexic) had her first slice of pizza for 5 years. :-D
Mrs O’Mahoney handed out gorgeously tacky little apple broaches (yes, that is how you spell it, ok?) with the US flag on them as a memento. On the plane, there was this amazing new entertainment system where you could choose exactly what you watched/listened to and when. I watched ‘Starter for Ten’ (having read the book) which was just bizarre because it was so incredibly English and I was still in a city/yellow taxi/hustle and bustle/subway mood. Then it was Jamiroquai’s singles collection and The Beatles’ White Album.
Arriving back just sucked, but we had our last ever T-Birds huddle at school.
Lu: Aww, our last huddle!
Mr Teeling: Actually, I wouldn’t rule one out on Monday. Let’s just get together in the corridors and have a quick hug.
Me: *is totally up for this*

The house felt strange. It’s still quite weird to be back. My watch is still on New York time and I keep watching the Times Square Webcam (it’s quite addictive, the possibility of spotting Marius is soooo tempting).

Anyway, down to the basics:
1. I fulfilled a childhood dream that I have had since first watching ‘Friends’ aged 6.
2. NY completely lived up to my expectation and is the friendly, lively, welcoming city that I had imagined it was.
3. I have discovered a surprising aptitude for stage combat! (When I got back, I looked up Marius on the web and it turns out he’s a bit of a stage combat legend, winning a pretty prestigious fight direction award last year). I know it sounds like wank and it makes me think “Get back in your box, Gabrielle” but his workshop was so amazing and inspiring, it did just make me want to sneak out of the hotel, catch the 2 train to Brooklyn and never go home. After an hour and a half of learning something that felt useful and un-patronising sealed the whole thing. I <3 stage combat now. Wank over.
4. I have got to live there when I’m older. I just have to. It’s like nowhere else I have ever been. :-D
5. I promise to invite everyone for an extended holiday when I move to Brooklyn (and inevitably end up living with Marius)... ;-)

The neon is graffiti singing, "Make a new start"

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 18:06:27 GMT

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N E W Y O R K 0 7

The neon is graffiti singing, "Make a new start"